Size matters. Thickness.

Last week, I received a To Pay card in the post, for underpaid postage. The front of the card has the local delivery office address and space stamps to be affixed to pay what was due. The fee can be paid online, but I wanted to see who sent it/what it was, so I visited the delivery office one morning (hours are shorter than they used to be, as I'm pretty sure I headed there one afternoon a few years back to collect a parcel that did not fit through the letterbox) and found a polite RM person. He showed me what came, and demonstrated that it would not fit through the 5mm slot (the size thickness for standard letters). I knew who it was from and paid with 2 second class stamps (as they are now 75p each).

Bilingual Welsh/English "Fee To Pay" card from Royal Mail 

I got the item home and tried my own letter template ruler. The letter did get through it, but then I noticed the slot has rounded corners and that takes the gap to almost 6mm. I had not noticed that my 5mm measuring slot was just a fraction bigger than it should have been. I do hope any mail for overseas I have sent, has not fallen foul of the thickness. 

Inco 2023 round up.

Well, April has come marking the end of March, the month informally named InCoReMo - International Correspondence Replying Month coming after February which was International Correspondence Writing Month. For this year, I put my address up on the exchange page alone with 5 not-all-that-serious questions to give the letter writers something to write about if they were stuck. It can be difficult to know what to write especially for InCoWriMo where long-term correspondence may not be a participant's aim from the challenge, so no need for a letter intro CV. I know I can't write to everyone, but am a little disappointed in myself because I did not surprise as many people this year as I thought I would. I drew up a shortlist but ended up concentrating on replying to existing penfriends where many of the connections started due to earlier InCoWriMos. It is a little disappointing also that not every letter gets replied to. I reckon I've sent over 50 letters in the last 10 years of InCoWriMo that have not yielded a response. Even though in theory, I have intended to reply to all the InCo mail I've received over the years, some items do not warrant nor deserve responses. However, all those that do deserve a reply, I do write and send. I still have a few surprise letters received in March to respond to.

Tomorrow sees a postage rate rise. Although I can afford it, I wish RM would encourage letter writing and card sending rather than totally neglecting delivering letters which is part of their 6-day a week service obligation, though the CEO has said on record that they do not prioritise parcels instead. 

I do hope a satisfactory conclusion will be forthcoming, and RM will be able to be great again.

Spring update

I know it has been a while since my last post. Spring has sprung in my little corner of the world, and that means that the great outdoors beckoned - not just up in the hills and mountains, or down by the sea, but also the call of the garden. Weeds grow so fast! But the first bloom of dandelions is quite a sight, a wonder, and the bees love them. So, have been out and about more, enjoying some of my other hobbies.

A postbox spotted on a walk

You have to try and live life. A friend has, even though he's experienced so many events, some extremely sad and heartbreaking (the type that never gets forgotten in the public mind, "natural" disaster), some horrendous events caused by other humans (war, he was an army nurse), illness & disease, bereavements... but even with those, he's delivered babies (a midwife), saved lives, stitched up wounds (so as you wouldn't notice - one person he told me he sewed up became a model), volunteered, fostered, cared, photographed people on their happiest days, written stories,...

Living life, rather than just existing, gives me things to talk about in letters. I have also taken my camera out and have had some photos printed in small size so I can affix these in my letters, so am spending less time in front of the computer.

I still love letters. I have a nice friendly snail mail forum, but don't want to be in your face about it. I do sometimes get annoyed at the constant marketing/advertising of things, it puts me off.

Letters via snail mail may not be for everyone (perhaps someone doesn't feel great writing about things to strangers at first, or financial issues as postage stamps can be quite expensive in world where prices of essentials rise, or do not feel comfortable giving out a home address...). We live in a world where prices are going up for the essentials, and although I class snail mail as essential for my mental health, I'm lucky to have already saved up some postage stamps.

Another February is almost upon us.

As another February looms, it heralds in a couple of letter writing projects I've talked about before: A Month of Letters, and International Correspondence Writing Month. These projects draw in people new to letter writing, as well as seasoned correspondents. So, how should someone new go about writing the first letters for either of these projects?

One size does not fit all, and you must find your own way. Finding what works for you can take trial and error. What do you want from these projects? If you aren't looking for long term correspondents and you don't want to take up a position of their penpal, perhaps do not write a CV-style letter all about yourself/your family/your pets: you don't speak all this when you have an ephemeral conversation at a bus stop, on a train, or in the queue at a supermarket checkout. 

Handcraft (or type) your letters uniquely. OK, you will need perhaps to tell the person you are writing to your name, and if you want a response, your postal (or email) address. Anything else is fluid. A letter is a gift of time and energy, but if you send the same letter to everyone it may not reveal enthusiasm, sincerity and passion a good letter has.

I find this sort of letter below is just so boring:

Hello! My name is Jennifer. I live in Newport. I have a partner called Rhys and four children - their names are Cai (10), Eirian (7), Bethan (5) and Owain (2). We have three cats, one is a tabby called Simon,  the ginger tom is called Goofy,  and the black cat is Jetson. I like ice-skating, hill walking, darts and quilting. We go on holiday every year to Weston-Super-Mare and visit my grandmother, Jean. I am a 43 and my partner is 45. We met on New Year's Eve 12 years ago in the pub. He likes doing DIY, wood turning and supports Cardiff City. I go to bingo with my neighbour once a month. Write back soon xxx.

I'm afraid that sort of missive doesn't inspire me to reply. It doesn't engage with the recipient. I've received a few of that type of letter, and well, finding it almost impossible to write a reply on occasion (but I have managed to thank them electronically when I haven't been able to respond via letter).

Sometimes I do look up the town/city on a map - to see its rough location. I am hopeless at US geography, so even knowing if some town is near the sea, inland, north/south/east/west may help me write a letter. 

Now, what if Jennifer in Newport was writing to someone in Toledo, OR/USA who has mentioned hiking in their request for correspondence:

Hi there Kathy,

My name is Jennifer and I live in Newport, not the Newport in Oregon not too far from you but one in Wales, UK. My partner is a Welshman called Rhys, but I come from Bath in England originally. We have four children and have given them Welsh names - Cai (10), Eirian (7), Bethan (5) and Owain. The home is ruled by three felines. One of my hobbies is hill walking and I like to go walking in the Brecon Beacons at least once a month. I see from an online map that you've got some interesting scenery nearby. Where do you like to go walking/hiking? Another hobby is quilting. Rhys likes DIY and furniture making. He surprised me last birthday with a handmade sewing table. He is a big football (soccer) fan but likes most sports too. He even stayed up to watch the Super Bowl. I don't want to overwhelm you in first letter, so I will end here. I hope this finds you well. Write back when you can. xxx

A few more words (add better layout on paper with paragraphs/spacing) but not revealing as many hobbies/information, maybe not much more time/effort but there is something to draw you in. A question. A friendliness. Which letter would Kathy prefer? 

Penpal letters should be ongoing conversations. Questions should be asked but not too many - you do not want it to be an interrogation or inquisition.

You could enclose extras, such as a postcard of your area, a map/leaflet for your area, even a photograph (not necessarily of yourself/family), a bookmark... 

Postal services at the moment aren't all running a full speed operation. Post can be slow. Patience is needed for this hobby. Check your postal authority's service news page for updates. 

A to Z of Snail Mail - part 1

 I thought it would be fun to do an A to Z of Snail Mail. Easier said than done. Needed help & suggestions! 

A is for Address book, and also for Air Mail, Air Mail labels, aerogrammes, anticipation...

B is for Box of postcards, Best Wishes...

C is for Christmas cards sent by penpals, but also for cartridges fountain pens might use, calligraphy, and correspondence can contain caring and compassion.

D is for delivery, Diamine inks, and letters bring delight.

E is for envelope, and no matter how hard you push, it is stationery. Excitement & enlightenment.

F is for fountain pens. 

G is for General Post Office.

H is for Home (address), handwritten letters, and handwriting.

I is for ink, and also InCoWriMo, and international mail....

J is for Jolly letters written in J. Herbin ink (other inks are available). 

K is for the Kindness found in many letters, written perhaps with Krishna Ink.

L is for Letter, letter writing, letter writing paper, Lamy fountain pens & ink, letter openers, letterbox, and Love from..

M is for Mail, both incoming and outgoing missives mailed...

Part two later, but feel free to comment with your suggestions. Haven't gotten ideas yet for some of the other letters...

Still writing

 I'm still here, writing letters, trying to keep away from the elephants in the room topics. Five Questions, Answer by Snail Mail helps. After the current letter I am in the middle of writing, I will answer someone's Five Questions, posted on the A World of Snail Mail forum. 

1st October was World Postcard Day, and where do I know that loves postcards? Why yes, Postcrossing. And so, for it, I requested a couple of addresses and posted them, as well as another postcard to reply to one from Russia sent during February for A Month of Letters. 

There isn't much space on the postcard for many nice stamps. I wanted to use up some of the older stamps than buy the new stamps of the new value for sending by international standard / Air Mail / Post Awyr / Par Avion!

I had slowed down on writing letters recently, as there were days I just didn't feel like picking up a pen. Ideally, I want to reply between a fortnight and a month, but was running at 6 weeks for a few letters last month. I've found my mojo again.

I have written and sent over 365 letters this year, and it feels great! I should surpass 400 before long. I do tend to slow down in December, but whether I will this year, I don't know. Letters bring joy. 

Snail Mail prompts and challenges.

Over on the forum, a new challenge was started - Snail Mail September, with the hashtag #snailmailseptember2020 and it is running on Instagram, and the forum's Facebook group.

Week 1

————

•Decorate an envelope for a letter you’re mailing

•Write to a family member

•Write a letter Outdoors

•Send a postcard to someone you haven’t seen in a while.

Week 2

————

•Decorate mail in seasonal colors

•Mail a letter from a new-to-you postbox

•Use an interesting stamp to mail something

•Write a letter/postcard in colored ink

Week 3

————

•Send a photograph

•Write to someone about a memory you have of them

•Send something about your city/town/state

•Use a sticker or washi tape to decorate your mail

Week 4

————

•Write something with your non-dominant hand

•Send mail to another country

•Include a tuck-in in your letter/card

•Draw a doodle/sketch on your letter/postcard

For February, a lighter challenge than InCoWriMo, I started February Letters with A Challenge-a-day with 29 prompts/tasks to do in your letter for the day (and it didn't matter if a letter could not be completed that day).

1st: Use the word duck

2nd: Write a sentence backwards

3rd: Draw some eyes

4th: What can you hear while you write?

5th: What is the nearest tree to your home?

6th: Use the word bird

7th: Did you see a cat this week?

8th: Use the word snowman

9th: What book(s) are you reading?

10th: Draw a smiley face

11th: Do you have any houseplants?

12th: Use the word weather

13th: What was the last boardgame you played?

14th: Did you make any resolutions for 2020?

15th: Use the word postcard

16th: Can you play a musical instrument?

17th: Use the word DIY

18th: What was the last photo you took?

19th: Do you like travelling by train?

20th: Who is your favourite cartoon character?

21st: Can you see a clock while you write?

22nd: Where are you writing the letter?

23rd: Use the word cup

24th: Write a sentence with your eyes closed.

25th: What does your name rhyme with?

26th: What was the last household chore you did?

27th: Do you have a favourite household chore?

28th: Do you collect anything?

29th: Would you like to have your birthday today?

I shall be changing the prompts/tasks for next year. Which ones are good and should stay (or be changed very slightly), and which ones should be changed totally?

These are great prompts/tasks. Do they help? Would you like to see more mini-challenges? 

Still writing

Snail mail life still continues. I can write to penpals around the world, postal services permitting. The lovely people at Postcrossing have come up with a Postal Monitor to keep track of service disruptions, and links to service updates on the various postal websites.

Some mail has been delayed, sailing across the oceans. For a while, I was sending most letters to the US via the international economy (surface mail) rate. Mail for continental Europe still had to go by Air Mail.

I haven't been able to buy any of the new issue stamps. The last issue I bought was the James Bond issue, but I wasn't able to get many. Years of buying stamps meant I didn't really need to buy stamps. I might try for the next issue celebrating the music group, Queen.

I have been receiving post. Some has come with slogan postmarks. This one, Let's Talk Loneliness is from this month.

Others have been able to buy the new stamps out in the US. I quite like the new global forever stamp, but it does look a little like something else, unintended.

I also like some of the stamps out of Germany. I wasn't a huge fan of Sesame Street but I did learn things from it.

I think I like most stamps. Look how small the stamp is from Canada!

However, it doesn't have the magic in some of the stamps Royal Mail has produced. There were a few issues for Star Wars but only 1 issue had the magic revealed via UV.

Stamps not only can take letters/parcels through the post, they can take people on a journey of knowledge. I really should read more about John Archer, a mayor in London. Wikipedia doesn't have a lot on him.

The Elephant in the Room, part 2.

It is difficult to escape the current topic affecting the world: Covid-19. But how should you approach this in letters? I don't think it is a topic to be totally ignored, whether your area is in lockdown or curfew on top of general distancing measures, or your area has come out the other side as restrictions start to lift.

The last letter I wrote, I tried to look on the bright side of life, what with wildlife returning to places usually frequented by tourists and people in general, and some pollution levels dropping.

Do you have more time to be able to do hobbies, especially if you've been able to work from home rather than commute to the office? Maybe you are rediscovering things.

However for one penpal whose letter arrived today, rather than go on about The Virus, he kept his missive short.

All I can hope for is for this blog post to find you and your loved ones safe and well.

February letters round up.

This is what a month of letters received looks like. Not for the whole of February but midway through until midway through March. I haven't counted them, and I should be replying to them in due course.

So, how did my Month of Letters / InCoWriMo / February Letters go? Quite well in the end, after flu in the first week (yes, just flu, not coronavirus). I sent over 50 letters (and a few postcards too).

As for receiving mail, I was away from home for over half the month, and so I have no idea exactly when some of the letters arrived. Overall, it was a good month.

One of the things I bought while away was a wax seal coin. I haven't tried it out yet. I have also ordered other wax seals. I am not going to tell you how many I have got, but I was rather shocked at the number I have.

I also bought a couple of bottles of ink, and 2 more ink samples, to be included on my inks page soon.

End of the first week in February

I have to admit "defeat" this year for InCoWriMo & LetterMo. Am I a bit disappointed? NO, because my body said no. I was hit heavily by one of the winter bugs going around earlier this week and struggled even mentally to open letters, not alone reply. This bug has sapped energy out of me, more than any other bugs for quite a while. I recovered somewhat today, but still feel lousy and I have lost my voice. OK, I don't need a voice to write letters, but I do need to have the energy. I wonder if I am starting to have InCoWriMo/LetterMo fatigue as this is my 9th year taking part in the one, and 7th in the other. Or whether the shortest month is not the best month for the daily letter-writing projects because of flu and colds going around. At least with February Letters, there is no pressure. Letter writing to penfriends is supposed to be enjoyable, not a chore.

It sounds so simple, to write a letter/postcard a day. And it can be, but not when you are severely under the weather. I couldn't even pick up a pen on Wednesday. All I wanted to do was sleep. Some days, can write more than a couple of missives, and on average, should be able to make it a letter-a-day.

Some of the comments (some have already been deleted) across social media about the lack of the address list at InCoWriMo-2020, do not take into account the series of unfortunate events beholden that site's owner. I know he enjoys writing letters, and while he was seeking to delegate for 2021, I don't think anything can be done this month for this year, although in early January, I did believe there was hope. A tinge of sadness for the site, and even more thoughts for him. I hope things will be OK for him.

I hope to be back letter-writing this weekend. Stormy weather is forecast. So, I intend to either be snug as a bug in a rug, in bed, or wrapped up warm in my chair at my writing desk.

1st February 2020

I won't have time to do a daily blog, but should have time to write at least one letter a day! I am doing InCoWriMo. Am I doing LetterMo too? Well, some of my existing penpals come from the latter and have some of their letters in my to-reply-to pile. Letters written this weekend will have to wait until Monday for posting - missed the Saturday collection and no collection on a Sunday - we don't want those letters to be all cold in the postbox, do we now? 

I wrote just the one letter today, although there are just under 3 hours left so there is time to write another. I did manage to write duck in my letter. Well, I used the plural form, but still, needed to write duck before the s! Tomorrow is "write a sentence backwards" well, I'll make it a short sentence! 

How are you all getting on? I notice on the address exchange thread, some people replying to someone's address post with "I'll write to you" - but does that spoil things, the surprise? If someone has received a lot of replies with, "You are on my list," would that put you off writing to them because you might think that they'd be overwhelmed? I'm sure in past years, at least a few people, sadly, have not received any surprise letters.

Carried away

A delivery of wax seal heads came yesterday. I set them out with some of my other wax seals and it suddenly dawned on me that I had gone overboard. I don't think I will cancel the order of more different seals made this morning, but I think I should restrain myself. After all, for snail mail, it is the letter itself that counts. The words matter more than the oodles of washi tape, stickers, fancy writing papers, fancy pens, fancy inks, fancy wax seals, fancy postage stamps. But I do like to use them, they bring me joy, and relaxation choosing how to decorate the letter/envelope, how to show postage paid. Maybe just as colouring-in books for adults have taken off and promote mindfulness, maybe the adornment of snail mail is mindful for me.

With February coming soon, and international correspondence writing month / a handwritten letter every day / a month of letters, I shall enjoy using the new stationery purchases, as well as old. Still no news on any of the main websites for the project, but there is some activity on A World of Snail Mail - the forum, and Facebook group. I'm sure there are other websites out there for their own mini versions of the project. 

19th January 2020 edit - LetterMo has been updated. 

The first letter, again

With InCoWriMo/LetterMo coming up in February, I thought it was time for another post about the first letter.

One size does not fit all, and you must find your own way. Find what works for you can take trial and error.

Do first impressions matter? If yes, then maybe first letters matter too. Some people write a generic first letter, a form letter typed/printed/copied without a thought about the person it is to be sent to; a CV. Yes, some things should be in all first letters - your name, your location (especially if you want a reply) but everything else is optional. You don't need to reel off a whole list of names of your relatives and pets, nor a list of hobbies & interests, nor a list of what you like to watch on the screen. If you start talking to someone waiting at a bus stop or supermarket checkout queue or someone on a train, you do not recite your CV to them hoping to start a conversation?

"How long have you been waiting here?" could translate into letter-speak as, "How long have you lived in Oakley Street?" You could even write about the weather and from there, ask questions, e.g.: "The hills get a lot of snow around this time, and one hill nearby is popular for sledging down. It has been a while since I've been sledging, I am more a fair weather person. Do you like the winter sports?"

A letter is a gift of time and energy - a generic form letter CV lacks this, although it may save time and energy, it does not reveal enthusiasm, sincerity and passion a good letter has.

I find this sort of letter below is just so boring:

My name is Jennifer. I live in Bath. I have a partner called Jeremy and four children - their names are Brian (10), Lucy (7), Celia (5) and Thomas (2). We have three cats, one is a tabby called Simon,  the ginger tom is called Goofy,  and the black cat is Jet. I like ice-skating, darts and quilting. We go on holiday every year to Weston-Super-Mare and visit my grandmother, Jean. I am a 43 and my partner is 45. We met on New Year's Eve 12 years ago in the pub. He likes doing DIY, wood turning and supports Swindon Town. I go to bingo with my neighbour once a month. Write back soon xxx.

I'm afraid that sort of missive doesn't inspire me to reply.

Some people take part in InCoWriMo/LetterMo just for the month of correspondence, and do not want to continue writing letters/snail mail throughout the year. That's fine, but it does feel a little sad. It doesn't matter if people take their time to reply: I like to respond to letters within a month of receiving, but I know life and events get in the way of speedy responses.

Letters - yours, mine, other people's...

I was mortified recently finding out I had accidentally mixed up letters: one was sent to France but should have gone to Canada, and vice versa. This is a very rare mistake for me and in over 10 years of penpalling, have never mixed up letters to penpals before.

I do not know if the recipients read much of the wrong letters before forwarding them on. They knew of each other anyway, and have exchanged letters before, I believe. The contents of my two mixed up letters were not 'Top Secret' or "For Your Eyes Only" nor were they overly personal nor suggestive in nature. Some letters I do write to close penpals may contain more personal information, not just about me and my family, but questions / comments regarding theirs. I may occasionally talk about other penpals in letters: one recent case is that to a penpal in the UK with family & penpals in Hong Kong - I also have a penpal there so we have written about the political situation. I hope things will work out for the best over there.

I have not finished reading More Letters of Note, yet. I really should. I thoroughly enjoyed the first volume of letters compiled by Shaun Usher. It was interesting to spy on written conversations not initially meant for strangers' eyes; a glimpse into the lives/worlds of other people. Do we all like to eavesdrop to a certain extent?

I would have liked to have read the letters my mother's brother wrote to her, in a 40 year correspondence, but she had shredded most of them. I was hoping to find insight into some family history, although I am not all that interested in genealogy (in a time my mother's family did not approve of my father, and possibly some of her ancestors would turn in their graves about it).

So, what of my letters, the ones I have received? I keep them all. I do sometimes look back through them, but not often. Should I digitise them? Have OCR work its magic and make the letters searchable? Should I allow others to read them?

Occasional snippets do get shown to others - maybe on a particular topic of interest to my family or friends (e.g. I showed the picture of a boat a penpal had sent me, to a friend who was a sailor and merchant seaman), or maybe the handwriting. But, I do not show the bits I deem to be "For My Eyes Only" to anyone else.

But, what should happen to my letters when I die? At this time, I don't think I would want them to be destroyed. The letters are kept in their envelopes. If an envelope has a return address other than a PO Box, I don't think it would be fair to sell the envelopes as stamped covers. The stamps could be removed from the envelopes and sent on to charities raising money through kiloware, or to friends/family who are interested in stamp collecting.

But what of the letters themselves? What it matter if they were read after I died? Would it be up to my family what to do with them? Do I bequeath them in a will? Should I leave it up to my family to decide? Would the senders like them back?

As for letters I have sent, I am not sure I would want them returned to me. I relinquished any power over them when I fed them to the post box. They belong to the people I sent them to, and leave it to them to decide what to do with them.

April has been #sow_on rather than #write_on

February is long gone, but I have some letters written to me in February still to reply to. For most of February and all of March, I was away from home. I received a couple of batches of letters to keep me going, but returned home to even more letters! The better weather means there are other calls on my time, namely gardening. I have been busy sowing seeds, digging up weeds, talking to bees and ladybirds and spiders and woodlice...

February itself was a success. I surprised lots of people on the InCoWriMo-2019 website, and was also surprised to receive over a third of replies to those letters.

One slight dilemma I have is that I have no idea of the order the letters arrived in while I was away. I could take educated guess from the postmark (if any), and letter date (if any) as I have a good idea of roughly how long a letter takes to get to me. However, I think I might just do pot luck, see how I feel.

I had a huge pile of letters I replied to for filing away. My current storage solution is to store the letters from one person in one (or more) plastic bags. Not all that romantic. Maybe I could find some fabric and use ribbon or thicker threads to wrap them up.

I have contemplated scanning in the letters received. I did scan in a few from my teenage years but wonder and ponder what file format and folder system to use. How future-proof would these digitised letters be?

It is 2019! Where does the time go?

A question asked elsewhere was how many letters did you write in 2018? I didn't actually count but I reckon over 300 letters. I did however keep a record of when letters/postcards came in, and when I posted mail too so I could tot the numbers up. I did not mind the question though. 

I did used to give monthly stats but stopped because it may not be fair to say, "Look at me, look how many letters I write, look how much money I have spent on postage stamps, look how many penpals I have got!" Besides, perhaps I do not want to admit/realise how much money I spend on postage (or even how much stationery I bought last year - at least most of it was in the sales)! One of my penpals has over 150 other penfriends. Some might say that she is a penpal collector, and how can her letters be unique? Her letters are unique, and the ones to me are written just for me.

I could say how many different people I have written to in the past year, but I won't do that. With the likes of Facebook and the possibility of showing others how many "friends" you have on there, and Twitter & Instagram with followers, penpalling is not a popularity contest. It doesn't matter how many penpals you or I have. For me, it is the quality of the letter, the connection that I find is more important than quantity / popularity. For personal reference, though, it may be informative. 

What I might do when February has started & finished for 2019, is to count up the number of surprise letters received and sent through InCoWriMo-2019.

On letterwriting, etiquette

I have so far been using the initial of my first name, M, wax seal to close my envelopes. However, is it proper? Should I be using my surname (my married name)? This question has led me to etiquette, tradition, good form written in the late 19th century and early 20th century.  The answer is that I should use the initial of his surname. The initial of my first name never changes, but the surname might and already has. So, I am content to use M. How many of you when telephoning someone, say, "It's me!" ? 

However, what is good form way back when seems to me to be artificial and inequal. There are rules. Who came up with them? There are ways to address the envelope. It is not etiquette to use Mr for a gentleman, but for tradesmen & mechanics. I rarely use titles, though if I am writing to someone who has a PhD, or is a doctor of medicine, I have used the form Dr to them. I won't address the envelope to a married woman as Mrs [her husbands's initial] [husband's surname]. There are still a few people around who say that the woman is property of the husband. Although I have taken my husband's surname, I still identify with my first name, and its initial. Forum posts sometimes have me signing off with this initial. 

Perhaps these rules constrain the feeling of the word/letter, the individuality and uniqueness of each correspondence, the creativity; emotions weren't to be shown, stiff upper lip. I hope my written letters have character and soul to them. I want them to bring a smile upon the recipient's face, and joy. 

Some of rules of antiquated social letter writing, taken from Arthur Wentworth Hamilton Eaton's book in the Good Form series, "Letter-Writing Its Ethics and Etiquette with Remarks on the Proper Use of Monograms, Crests, and Seals" (1890) I break are:

• Lined papers must never be used for social correspondence, they are extremely bad form.

• There was a local fashion, some time ago, to use violet ink, but colored inks are never correct. 

• Using papers other than cream or white in colour

• Using anything other than the initial of my husband's surname (or crest if he had one) as a wax seal. 

• The use of wax in colours other than red or black.

InCoWriMo, Altered Carbon

I watched the first episode of the Netflix series, Altered Carbon. I haven't made up my mind on it yet, but there was one scene of particular interest to me. I put the subtitles on and I will quote below.

There's something about the simplicity of holding the written  word in your hand.
The very heft of it.

True, there is something to be said about the written word. Electronically written words do not have the same aura about them, little mystery.

I am a self-confessed snail mail addict. I seek out connections via the handwritten word. Some are ephemeral, only lasting for InCoWriMo; others last for years.

I have written my first surprise letter to a new person via incowrimo-2018. It has postage stamps and is raring to go. 

No reply

When I last visited my mother, I was looking through things and one of the things I found was a postcard written to me by an overseas penpal. I don't remember the postcard at all, nor even the written words on the back. The postmark is faint, but I think it was posted in 1995. Part of what was written on the back is as follows:

Dear Mia, because you did not write me for long, in my fantasy you've reacted negatively to my last letter. Maybe it sounded blunt, though there was no bad meaning, I assure you. I'm no rude man - I'd be very sorry. Please write me again, and I promise to be more conscientious in my way.

I did write back. I can't recall the bluntness. I have kept (almost?) all of my letters so maybe I should look through them to find the reason. I do know it was not a request for marriage, love, intimate relationship, or money.

I haven't written back to everyone I have received letters from. I sometimes wonder why my letters did not get replied to. Maybe a couple got lost in the post but that would not account for all that yielded no reply. Possibilities I can think of:

- My/Their letters are boring

- They can't read my handwriting - I have adapted my writing especially to those where English is not a first language. Some handwriting styles take a little longer to decipher than others, even if neat too. I'm planning to do a blogpost on handwriting and intend to show the written dates and the greetings/salutations from my received letters.

- There's no click, connection or sharing of interests, although I take this to mean "I don't like you." I don't  place much importance into having many common interests/hobbies. As well as friendship, letters are a voyage of discovery I have looked up things mentioned in letters to find out more.

- Time and money. For a while, life's events meant I was busy and had other priorities. Money may be an issue for some, especially if they've been made redundant or have incurred an unexpected costly bill.

- Wrong end of the stick. Some might want more than penfriendship, but this is not reciprocated. One letter I received in the 1990s was from a couple who wanted me to write about my, wink wink, fantasies. I was 'young' and not comfortable with writing and exploring intimacies.

- Mentioned on the forum, one reason for stopping writing was because a penpal had forgotten a birthday. I know I miss penpals' birthdays, and I don't always say "Happy Birthday" when Facebook reminds me.

- Gifts and extras - one correspondent ceased to write to me when I would not send a photo of myself back. I do sometimes enclose things with letters, such as postcards, photos (mostly not of myself), and newspaper clippings. I do not expect extras in return. There should be no obligation to send gifts, even if something has been posted to you.

Are there any other reasons?