Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I have been away a couple of times helping my mother. I came across a few things while there. The town I live in had a charity shop for Tenovus but I had never heard of it before then. I didn't realise that it was a well established charity, even featuring as a slogan postmark in 1968. 

My mother was a letter writer to friends and family, in the UK as well as overseas (mainly Australia). The letters have been mostly shredded but she kept the stamps on paper. I brought back this many with me. 

My dad liked covers, including first day covers. This is one I have of his - the inauguration of the car ferry between Southampton and Le Havre - 19th July 1964. I don't think I have taken this particular crossing across the Channel, but haven been sailings from Folkestone, Dover and Ramsgate, arriving at Oostende, Zeebrugge, Calais and Boulogne (not respectively). 

He also had penpals (like father like daughter, eh!). I don't know what happened to the letter inside (shredded, perhaps). I looked up the sender's name and discovered an online obituary. This person's special interests had included corresponding with pen pals all over the world!! That sounds like me! I think I would like that in my obituary! 

 So, what have I been doing recently? I have been buying even more stationery. I bought quite a few earlier this year from Paperchase in the sale. I like the jolly and cheerful designs. The main complaint though is that the paper allows you to only write on one side of the sheet, but sometimes that is a good thing as the designs will hide your writing and it won't show through cheap white envelopes. 

This was bought at Birmingham New Street station's Paperchase last month (I was travelling by train - and yes, I did take the opportunity to get some letters written on the train). However, I wouldn't be able to use scented stickers on letters to every penpal (some have allergies & intolerances I wouldn't want to exacerbate).

Letters home to Mother

I have been reading letters from Roald Dahl to his mother in the book, Love From Boy edited by Donald Sturrock. He wrote often: while at boarding school, working in East Africa, and his time in the RAF in the first couple of years of World War Two (as far as I got as I draft this blog post). His early letters weren't always truthful while at boarding school and were possibly under thread of being read by the schoolmasters perhaps watching over his shoulder as the letter was written. In adulthood in East Africa, he wrote about gambling, and drinking lots and lots plus some of the language used included swearing. In the RAF came in Iraq, he wrote about bodily functions - men worried about being bitten on the balls by scorpions while squatting over the toilet bucket and were relieved after inspection to have been a meal for yet another bloody sand fly. 

This has gotten me wondering what subjects do you broach in letters to your parents? I have only written a few letters to my mother and in no way did I broach the subject of intimate relations or even periods. My mother's eyes aren't fully wonderful nor are here hands thrilled to have arthritis, so reading and writing letters isn't easy for her. Do people still write to their parents? My mother has a habit of telephoning when I am in the bathroom or up to my elbows in washing up water. Telephones need both parties to be available at the same time - that's why I like letters, because you both read/write in your own time. E-mail is an option but for my mother, she isn't interested in the technology these days. I barely read/write emails myself these days. So, for her, it is the telephone that connects us but we don't speak about those taboo subjects.

Edit - I have now finished the book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A bit of one letter especially made me laugh:

There is a large bridge near my house, which was designed by Theodore Roosevelt, and on each corner there is an enormous bronze statue of a bison. Now someone has painted the prominent personal organs of these bison bright red, so that everyone who crosses the bridge stops and roars with laughter. It is a very fine sight and I don't know who's going to take the paint off. You can't really have a fireman or someone leaning a ladder against the animal, ascending it and solemnly scraping the paint off the penises. A crowd would gather and laugh at him, and photographers from a bawdy newspaper would get a wonderful photograph. 

To the Letter, and Remembrance

Now, almost 3 years later, I have finished To the Letter by Simon Garfield. I read the book slowly and marked many pages with highlighter tabs to note particularly interesting bits - some repeated below. 


I love the correspondence between Bessie Moore and Christopher Barker written while he was in the army during World War II. I will have to get Simon Garfield's book, My Dear Bessie which has more of the letters in than To the Letter. However, from To the Letter, I was able to garner wonder and emotion from these letters, for they contain humour, passion and concern:

"I am hanging on to the old old theory that no news is good news."

"Thanks for the letter, old-timer,I am sending this by Air Mail because it will have enough dull stuff in it to sink a Merchant ship." 

"How can I tell you I want to implant myself; how my lips need to meet your flesh everywhere, to kiss your hair, your ears, your lips......."

" 'How do I feel?' - such a large question sweetheart, oh such a large question! So difficult for me to tell you."

So, what do letters mean? More snippets from the book:

According to Emily Dickinson - "A letter always feels to me like immortality because it is the mind alone without corporeal friend." 

Katherine Mansfield wrote to a friend, "This is not a letter but my arms around you for a brief moment."

Ted Hughes describes letter-writing as "excellent training for conversation with the world."

"Without letters we risk losing sight of our history, or at least its nuance."

"Is a hand-held, ink-written letter more valuable to our sense of self and worth on the planet than something sent to a fortress of cables in the Midwest that likes to call itself a 'cloud'?"

A friend recommended The Why Factor, a radio programme broadcast on BBC World Service, and available online. One of the episodes was called Letters - broadcast a couple of years ago and had extracts of letters (including some between Bessie and Christopher). The programme spoke to John Steinbeck's son, Thomas about letters and letter-writing. From this episode, I do feel that letter-writing is a kind of armour against embarrassment for you can write words you may find difficulty in saying face-to-face. Also, I believe I am able to reveal myself more with ink on paper for I am a shy gal. 

We are coming up to 2 years shy for the centenary of the end of World War I. I have been to see the Weeping Window at Caernarfon Castle. 

One of the things I came across from doing citizen science was a project on the War Diaries of the British Army on the Western Front. The handwriting of the soldiers was neat although I was not used to all the handwriting styles used so took me a little while for me to decipher. The soldiers would have also sent many many letters home.

Their families grateful for every little bit of news from afar, even if it is about the weather. I wonder how many of these soldiers' families have kept these letters from World War I or even World War II (such as the family of Bessie and Christopher). Would the children of today be able to read them for many schools have discouraged or not taught joined up or cursive handwriting. Social and family history risk being lost. Will emails written today be treasured by generations to come?

To The Letter.......

I am still plodding my way through Simon Garfield's wonderful book to The Letter I received for Christmas 2014. It is taking time to 'journey through a vanishing world' as I put clear sticky tabs/page markers at sections/sentences of particular note and interest. I don't always have these to hand and I dislike bent over corners. One of the points of interest I marked was Best Wishes, a sign off once used just for business letters and now, I almost always sign off my letters to penfriends with it. The book mentions correspondence of the Second Earl of Chesterfield and instructions to his daughter about putting the date at the bottom of the page because it is more respectful. When I write letters, I date it when I start. If I am unable to finish the letter in a day, I write the date when I recommence the missive. 

One thing I came across last night, was a description of a cat in a letter from a father to his daughter, as a mobile ginger flower - Ginger-dandelion. The letter writer was Ted Hughes. The chapter of the book was named The Modern Master. A collection of some of Ted Hughes' letters have been published. To The Letter also has a picture of Ernest Heminigway's cat walking across letters and correspondence on a bed. Some of my penpals have mentioned their cats getting in the way of snailmail by sitting on the letter, on the paper to be written on, on the table, or even the chair to be used at the letter writing desk.

Letter-writing - 'excellent training for conversation with the world.'

 I am over three quarters of the way through the book. I should finish it before Christmas 2016 and then, perhaps, I can follow up on selected bibliography and people mentioned, e.g. 

• Abelard and Heloise
• Second Earl of Chesterfield
• Fourth Earl of Chesterfield
• Letters of Ted Hughes
• Letters Home (Sylvia Plath)
• Madame de Sévigné

I wonder if there will be ebooks of the emails of some celebrity / author / entertainer / scientist / person of interest in years to come.

I wonder what people would make of letters answering Five Questions, part of the postal challenge on A World of SnailMail forum. Some of the questions asked can be a little silly. I recently answered a question unable to touch my nose with my tongue. Did you just try to do that yourself?

There is still time to ask Five Questions this month and answer others people's questions. Even some of my long time penpals incorporate answers (sometimes to other people's questions) in their letters to me.

'Maybe the crucial element in handwriting is that the hand is simultaneously drawing.'

Well, that is about all the drawing I can handle - letters!

So, why don't you surprise a family member or friend with a letter. One of the short stories broadcast on the radio last month mentioned a mother writing to her anorexic daughter in a bid to learn and help, and for this story, it worked. Taking time to write down thoughts and questions, without interruptions of, "You just don't understand..." or other speech-stoppers and the written dialogue continues in a calm manner. 

Letters connect people. Letters have brought more joy into my world. 

Snail Mail - the book

Venturing in to an independent bookshop opens eyes to a different range of books. On the top shelf, I saw the spine of a book in the colours of international correspondence and I reached up to grab it when I saw the title was, "Snail Mail." The secondary title, "Rediscovering the art and craft of handmade correspondence," had me hooked.

I bought the book and proceeded to devour it. In it, there is a section on various forms of communication. The one on e-mail suggests replying within 48 hours. I had a brief foray into email friendship but one e-pal was not happy if I did not reply to his daily emails. There seems to be a sense of urgency with emails requiring attention. Now, the only emails I want to receive are notifications. I rarely read them but their titles are comforting knowing that my Amazon order is on its way.

There are pages on types of mail - writing to congratulate/celebrate events, love letters (does anyone keep love e-mails not printed out?), condolence, fanmail (not a huge fan of this) and even letters to your future self.

There's a little bit on signing on and off. I hadn't thought starting a letter with your penpal's name (with no salutation greeting) as being stern. I do vary the initial greetings depending on mood and penpal. I use - Hi, Hello, Greetings, Dear, Annwyl... As for valedictions, I usually use Best Wishes but the book lists this as a business sign off (I knew that it was from Simon Garfield's book, To The Letter - I'm still plodding through this). I occasionally use Hugs but this is not mentioned.

There are ideas for decorating the snail mail, and there are stickers and labels in the back plus templates for making envelopes.

Another section covers handmade - making papers to write on. One had lines sewn in. Caution though is advised if sending to Australia as they have strict import regulations and post could get destroyed.

There are pages picturing used postage stamps, and some old letters - I can decipher the handwriting. There's a section on fonts, typefaces and handwriting styles. For handwriting, the book suggests trying out both cursive and block, but...

Overall, I am happy I bought this book but it is preaching to the converted. It is a nice book and would make the perfect gift for someone just starting out in the world of penpalling and snail mail. 

Going Postal

I have already started to re-read the Discworld series, created by the most wonderful Terry Pratchett. His death was announced today. 

Season's Greetings

I realise it has been a while since I last wrote here. I have still been writing letters, some taking longer than others as I write mostly in cafes (my writing bureau currently is being used for storage - there's some letters on it, a dictionary, a hair brush, pocket tissues,some sticky tape stuff, writing paper and stickers..... I need to relocate the stuff). I also have started a diary, and this has sometimes taken precedence.

I intended to make some envelopes out of Christmas paper again this year but only made a couple. Still, hopefully they have brightened up the mailbox. I have been a little late in sending some Christmas cards overseas. I posted one to the US, one to Germany, and one to the Netherlands at lunchtime today! I also just managed to finish a letter to the US, but I forgot to enclose it in the Christmas card. I only realised after I had posted the card! Oops. Did that earlier today too to a UK penpal (I think), but that was just a short note saying I'd reply either over the festive period or in the new year.

I am still reading To The Letter. I received it as a present last Christmas, so maybe I will have finished it by Christmas 2015! I have been using clear highlighter tab things at interesting places. I am currently in the chapter titled, "Why Jane Austen's Letters Are so Dull (and Other Postal Problems Solved)"

A book on Letter Writing

I am not entirely sure why I went into my local library this week, but I did... and then borrow a book on letters even though I still haven't finished To The Letter. What is done is done and now I am sat down reading, "Letter Writing" in the "Everything You Need To Know" series published by HarperCollins in 2001.

One of the first paragraphs puts it nicely, "Generally speaking, we write because the process of putting words to paper is more effective than speech. It demands the sole attention of the recipient while being read and can be more intimate than speech; it is certainly more durable."

The book goes on to talk about paper, pens, typefaces before going onto grammar where I was reminded of a few things. The book then has examples of types of letter. It covers personal letters from thank you to condolences to congratulations to Dear John. "I know that simply leaving this letter on the kitchen table must seem like a total cop-out but, in the circumstances, it seemed the least painful way." Then there are business letters, from junk mail to bills to complaints to job applications...

Although I have not read every single word in the book, I have come across no mention of penfriendship - that is, friendship initiated through the medium of the letter. I found this disappointing. I shall be returning the book later this week, and will resume reading To The Letter.

Weather, letters, ....

This winter, I don't think this Mailbox Gritbox has had much use.... but....

2013 didn't end well and 2014 didn't start well either due to the weather. Storms and wind together with high spring tides caused flooding in December along the east coast of England, and heavy rain flooded many parts of the UK over Christmas, and also the wind caused havoc. We were away when we returned to storm battered Wales and the battering wasn't over, with January high spring tide + storms affecting Wales and south-west England. February high spring tide + storms have affected Wales a bit, and England's south-west and south coasts... 

Post had been delivered in the rain while we ere away over the festive period and was a little bit on the damp side... I tend now to use ballpoint pens for the address, for fear fountain pen ink would run in the rain.  Luckily, these made it to me...

The paper crinkled from the water... but the letter was still readable.

One of my presents was To The Letter by Simon Garfield... I have started reading it. I intend to write a few comments about it for this blog. Maybe for my birthday, I could ask for Shaun Usher's Letters of Note.