Penfriendship is a wonderful thing; connections across the globe makes the world a smaller place, making me care more about natural events in case a postal friend is affected- floods, forest fires, wind, earthquakes... The uniqueness of people; their lives, hobbies, interests, families... Can get to know people by the written word. It can be a façade, but the written word tends to come out of thoughtfulness, slowed by the flow of ink (or graphite) across the page. In typing, on computer or touchscreen, autocorrect may get in the way. Words appear quicker, maybe even angrier, and less thoughtful, less kind. How many electronic messages have been typed and sent in haste? I know I'm not immune.
I don't take much notice of etiquette guides: these are relics of the past, when misogyny was not considered wrong, a woman couldn't open a bank account on her own, wife-beating was allowed (but not between 10pm to 7am in case it disturbed the neighbours) and the ability to withdraw consent was removed on marriage. You do NOT need expensive heavyweight papers for genuine penfriendship, nor is a fountain pen a necessity. You don't need to have master penmanship nor need to do calligraphy. A letter can be a work of art, mail art, written on almost any paper, lined/plain/dotted/square, monogrammed or with motif or without, adorned with stickers and photographs and washi tape.
But, none of that matters if what is written is wonderfully thought out, meaningful. It is the words that matter the most; it is the purpose of the letter. Kind words written on a serviette in a cafe are still kind words. Fuck Off! written in calligraphy on expensive paper is still Fuck Off! no matter how well written (certain bits of this sentence are in a text colour matching the background, so if you really want to see two words, one beginning with F and the other with O....).
On social media, I have come across letter writing snobbery. One post linked to an etiquette guide and complained about not being able to get fountain pen friendly letter writing paper. I'm afraid that is poppycock; the person must be in a very uncivilised part of the world otherwise. I receive a wide range of letters, from college note-taking paper (taking fountain pen ink rather well), to Santoro, to Diddl, to Basildon Bond, to Clairefontaine Triomphe, and others: they are great. To me, it doesn't matter if the paper is lined (some prefer that is it helps the writer to write straight), or having holes punched down the side to go in a ring binder (if I use this, I tend to cover the holes with stickers). It doesn't even ,matter what writing implement is used - fountain pen, dip pen, gel pens, rollerballs, ballpoints, pencils... yet to receive one in crayon though.
Snobbery also haunts another associated hobby - philately. On stamp messageboards, there's sad news about 2 philatelists, men, of a good age, passing away, but very little sadness around the death of another philatelist - a woman, aged 34, who was the managing director of a stamp auction house. She was so young, so full of life, so full of colour and adventure. She touched me postally with a few postcards, with humour. Punk Philatelist wrote some words about her at https://punkphilatelist.com/2025/02/02/vale-constanze-dennis-the-greatest/
